


Softly and Aloud

by Macbetha



Category: Free!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28159386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macbetha/pseuds/Macbetha
Summary: There are no surprises when it comes to Asahi.That is, until Kisumi gets involved.
Relationships: Shigino Kisumi/Shiina Asahi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 64





	Softly and Aloud

**Author's Note:**

> happy december! missed you. 
> 
> this was my piece for the asakisu zine; i've edited it a bit since then. it was such a pleasure to work alongside such incredible writers and artists and mods, and i hope you will support them. a lot of love and joy went into the project! 
> 
> i hope you enjoy c:

* * *

Growing up was an awkward journey for Asahi, but at least he introduces himself to adulthood as a man of met expectations: his childhood homelife was decent, so he carries himself with the steadiness of someone well-loved; his loud and abrupt personality made him shine in high school, therefore he is known for such in college as well. He still sleeps with a weighted blanket and he will always make a fool of himself defending his friends. There are no surprises when it comes to Asahi.  
  
That is, until Kisumi gets involved.  
  
Kisumi is not ordinary. Asahi has known him for years, yet the boy still keeps him on his toes with every conversation. Looking him in the face leaves people fumbling, blushing, exhausted from his energy – in Asahi’s case, he experiences all three side effects at once, every time, and he does not realize why until college.  
  
Starting your first relationship is a nerve-wracking experience itself and choosing Kisumi as a first boyfriend is a wild shot in the dark. It still makes sense to Asahi.  
  
Everyone else is a different story. 

* * *

Asahi does not get with Kisumi in the hopes that it will remain their own little secret. He cares for Kisumi lots, even if his favorite pastime is trying to one-up Kisumi. Nowadays, it is just a thinly veiled attempt at impressing the boy with bravado. Old habits die hard.  
  
Nobody picks up on the changes, which is almost offensive. Asahi supposes that neither he nor Kisumi are subtle people and their ways of showing care were already a little boisterous. Kisumi teases people when he is proud of them; Asahi is physically affectionate with everyone, offering proud slaps on the back or participating in some friendly roughhousing. There is not much of anything new for people to analyze.  
  
But on the inside, Asahi is a mess. His urge to show his emotions through touch changes. There is a new question of wondering if people will think he and Kisumi are together, should they sit too close or look each other in the eyes for a beat too long.  
  
Asahi is not afraid to let people know – he just has no idea how to.  
  
He struggles to voice these thoughts one evening in Shibuya, after he and Kisumi went out to dinner. They have hung out one-on-one plenty of times, but now there is a fresh rush to every murmur and glance. It makes Asahi’s gut feel like a shaken soda.  
  
This summer is bubblegum sticky and just as sweet, going by far too fast. They are not cuddling on this park bench, but their knees are sprawled out and pressed together. It was never a conversation, finding secret ways to touch, ways that the flow of pedestrians would not pay attention to.  
  
Asahi speaks before he thinks it through. “Has your uncle asked why I’m coming over more?”  
  
Kisumi looks up from scrolling through his phone and Asahi keeps his eyes on his sneakers, grinding the tattered heels together. He clears his throat and tries to meet Kisumi’s gaze casually, but his heart just soars. He spent so much of his childhood struggling to catch frantic glimpses at Kisumi, and now Asahi has the freedom to gather up all Kisumi’s details, hold them tight to his soul. There is a freckle hidden on Kisumi’s eyelid, just behind his lashes; his jaw widened and squared as the years ticked on, and it curves up sharply to disappear in waves of hair. Kisumi smells like spearmint and coconut, he is starting to smell like _Asahi_ these days. His younger self would be over the moon.  
  
Kisumi’s eyes dart over his features with a similar fondness, then the boy laughs. “He already had ideas as to why I hang out with you so much,” Kisumi says. He perks a casual shrug before going back to his phone. “It wasn’t a big deal.”  
  
Asahi already forgot what they were talking about. “Oh,” he says as a knee-jerk reaction. “Cool.”

* * *

Asahi means this with all the kindness in the world, but Haru and Makoto are a little bit strange.  
  
They are the difference of winter and summer, of unabashed introvert and – well, an introvert who tries not to be one. It is standard to think that friends complement each other, often starting friendships on mutual personality types, but that has just never been the case with Haru and Makoto.  
  
Those two have been on the same wavelength since they were all kids. Makoto can ask a question, Haru can arch a brow, and that is a conversation in their world. When one of them picks up on something, the other is quick to see it as well.  
  
That is what happens one night at Haru’s apartment, when the four of them are together studying. They take a snack break and Kisumi is shoving his phone in Asahi’s face to gawk at a cringy quote some narcissistic classmate posted. Asahi is laughing, so is Kisumi, then Kisumi just kind of – nudges him, sways into Asahi a little bit. It is nothing obscene, only one of their little tricks that is ingrained in them when it comes to touching in public. Asahi does not realize that he and Kisumi have not even included their friends in the joke about the classmate, and once he is done laughing, he looks across the table to see the duo watching them.  
  
Haru is not blinking. His eyes are piercing like he is having a silent breakthrough, and Asahi follows his gaze to where he is holding Kisumi by the hip. Darkness eats at the edges of his vision and he snatches his hand back. It shakes. He does not know why.  
  
Makoto, ever oblivious, tips his head in concern before Haru whips around to stare at him. Makoto blinks. Haru raises his brows high.  
  
Makoto breathes, _“Really?”  
  
_“God,” Kisumi huffs. Asahi is surprised to find him so shook up when he has been nothing but confident most of their lives. It makes Asahi realize that Kisumi is fragile in this, still learning, still trying. Kisumi considers _us_ to be precious, but breakable by the hands of the world. This is something Kisumi wants to protect and display all at once.  
  
“We’re together,” Kisumi says, all defiance with that faint, begging note of hope in his tone.  
  
“We know.” Haru stares flatly like nothing has ever been more obvious. “I just told Makoto.” He swirls his noodles around his chopsticks, done with speaking.  
  
Asahi blanches. At least Makoto has the decency to look surprised, then he shakes himself and beams. “I’m so happy for you both! That’s great.”  
  
Asahi drones, “’Great’?” That’s it?  
  
“Yeah!”  
  
Asahi stares at Makoto for a very creepy ten seconds, waiting for that hesitancy, the backtracking, but there is none. Relief hits him so hard that he is nauseous, and they get back to studying.

* * *

Asahi is sure that he would have been intimidated and fascinated by Matsuoka Rin in equal measure had they met as kids.  
  
Upon running into him, it is easy to see why he and Kisumi are friends. They are both teasing, though Matsuoka cannot dish it out once the tables are turned; they love drama, though it sounds like Matsuoka has been involved in a more intense share of it than Kisumi. They complement each other as friends.  
  
Matsuoka knows Kisumi well.  
  
They are at Akane’s restaurant after an exhaustive round of games at the arcade; Ikuya and Hiyori left for the train a while ago and Kisumi is in the bathroom. Asahi is left alone at the table with Matsuoka Rin and his hulking best friend, Yamazaki. Those two hold conversations differently than Haru and Makoto, in a language of inside jokes and good-natured jabs. Asahi realizes that it would take a person like Kisumi to keep up with them.  
  
“Please,” Matsuoka scoffs when Asahi tells him this. “It’s just because the three of us haven’t been together in forever.” He smirks. “I can’t think of anyone who would put up with Kisumi if he were this loud all the time.”  
  
Asahi, more concerned about keeping the conversation going than what he is actually saying, laughs, “That’s one of my favorite things about him.”  
  
And that was not inherently _romantic,_ friends can have favorite things about their very attractive friends, right? But Asahi knows how his voice dripped with fondness when he said it, and now Yamazaki is _looking_ at him. It is not judgmental, though a little surprised.  
  
Matsuoka pauses with his drink just inches from his mouth. He glances at the bathroom door just across the way then excitedly whispers to Asahi, _“Do you like him?”  
  
_“Um,” Asahi says smartly, and Yamazaki elbows Matsuoka in the ribs.  
  
“That’s not your business, Rin,” Yamazaki rumbles. Matsuoka pouts.  
  
“Um,” Asahi says again, sitting up straighter. He takes a breath, clears his throat with a grimace. “It’s fine. He knows.”  
  
Rin gapes at him with wide-eyed sympathy, as if life is one big romance novel of unrequited love, then Asahi adds, “No, it’s – we’re a thing.” Might as well bite the bullet. His bag sits beneath the table and he’s got a hand on the strap, ready to walk out with his head hanging in embarrassment.  
  
Kisumi slips out of the bathroom at that moment and waltzes over to the counter to bother Akane. She grumbles something about staying open later for Asahi’s endless horde of friends and Kisumi laughs loudly, goading her on in agreement.  
  
Matsuoka just snorts into his drink, shaking his head at Asahi. “Bless you,” he snorts.  
  
Asahi startles a smile, ready to burst into light.

* * *

He walks Kisumi home that night, down side-streets that are empty and safe. This is the first time they have held hands together outside the sanctuary of their own homes. Asahi carries both his bag and Kisumi’s; his boyfriend smiles bashfully down at their linked fingers. Kisumi says, “What’s gotten into you? Did Rin’s romantic spirit rub off on you?”  
  
Asahi blushes and grumbles, “No. Just like holdin’ your hand.”  
  
Kisumi smiles wider and swings their hands a little. Asahi says, “I think we’re gonna be okay.” He does not give an explanation, letting his gaze say what he cannot.  
  
Kisumi studies his expression, gaze darting from Asahi’s lips to his eyes, then he squeezes Asahi’s hand. Warm, secure, so sweet. “Of course we are.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading; stay safe.
> 
> come say heyo on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ohmacbetha) & [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/macbetha)


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